C is for Camelot

"Don't ever let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment that was Camelot."

-Jacqueline Kennedy-

Camelot is a place of legend, a place where the round table dwells. As a place, Camelot is said to be somewhere in Briton, though no text specifies an exact location. Still, it is the legendary kingdom of King Arthur. It is Camelot that Knights gather along the round table, and form bonds said to be closer than any other. For all the grandeur though, Camelot was said to be a small place. Never having enough rooms for all, many legends hold stories of people in tents staying outside the city walls. Surely, Camelot was a place people wanted to stay and dwell.

In my path, Camelot has come to represent the place of the round table. It is the round table that stands for things such as justice, chivalry, and seeking. Out of all the things that the round table could stand for though, it also represents opportunity. The meetings at the round table were said to be wonderful, joyous, and even merry occasions. Even when there were said to be 150 Knights, legends arise of true friendship. Still though, Camelot reminds us all of our mortality. Camelot itself came to an end, just as the Knights could not live forever. It is the natural cycle of the God/dess that all must come to an end, only to be reborn. Often, things are reborn in the ways we least expect.

I could never do Camelot justice without mentioning President Kennedy. It seems strange that the topics of a Pagan blog would lead to a Catholic President. Still, roads cross at the least expected time and place. The Kennedy family found a fondness to the image of Camelot. Whether this was due to John F. Kennedy's favor of Arthurian Legends or not, remains uncertain. There remains still, a little fondness of the White House during this Camelot era. Surely, many would agree that Kennedy was progressive and could have continued to do a great many things. Perhaps that is what Camelot stands for, the potential to do a great many things that one for whatever reason cannot.

The linking between President Kennedy and King Arthur, at first, seemed silly. Arthur was a King, who accomplished great things, and created peace within his land. Looking at things now though, John F. Kennedy might fit that. Considering he led a country, who led others to accomplish great things within their daily lives, and who politically found a way to balance patriotism with peace. These things may seem like they don't belong on a Pagan blog, but to me, it's at the heart of what makes Paganism register with people. Pagans wish to find a sense of peace, a sense of understanding others, and accomplish the great joys that the God/dess can offer. There's always going to be our own visions of Camelot.

Visions of Camelot may look different person to person, and the legends reflect this. Camelot has changed from a mighty castle, to a simple kingdom. The change might not seem legendary, but the basis of it is. If those of us in the United States can look out and see our own Camelot, than many others can as well. Though Camelot is a place, it is also a symbol. It stands for things that undoubtedly are a reflection of those bonds of the true friendships we form. Not only do we form friendships that last our lifetime, but they can go on to spark bonds in another lifetime. Places live on in the spirit of the people, only then can a place truly exist. For those who wish to see it, Camelot may truly be a thought away.

Whether we wish to imagine a Camelot with King Arthur, or one with a President, Camelot remains. The origins of such a place may be unknown, and we may never glimpse a sight of the first Camelot. Still though, as hard as it may seem, Camelot can be created again. When Camelot is created again though, it will look very differently. There will be the same mystery, wonder, and camaraderie, but there will be the spark of a new time. It is the nature of the God/dess, that things be reborn. Life continues, and with it the places that we all hold dear. With time all things pass away, and are reborn again in their own time.

B is for Badb

"Nothing in the universe remains stagnant; everything is constantly changing, moving around the wheel of life. Without death, there can be no rebirth. I am the deathblow and the midwife of the soul. It is to I you will come at this life's end, and it is through me that you shall be reborn."

-Celtic Lore and Spellcraft of the Dark Goddess-

Rebirth is something that I've always felt closely connected to. Even growing up with the Christian concept of eternal life, I still felt oddly drawn to the aspect of rebirth. For me, it seemed like a natural progression of life, even if that meant death was a part of it. Up until this point, I was never introduced to the Morrigan, much less the aspects of such a deity. As many Pagans, I knew the aspects of the Triple Goddess, and I've worked with them frequently. Badb however, is different than most concepts of the Triple Goddess. Getting to know the aspect of Badb has been challenging, and yet very rewarding.

Badb is both the Maiden, and the Crone aspect of the Goddess. When getting to know any aspect of the Morrigan, this can be quiet confusing. As I mentioned in another post, Anu is the Virgin Goddess of the Morrigan, while Macha remains associated with death. This causes an interesting mixture of elements, where life of the Maiden is celebrated so closely with the Crone. When I first started getting to know this aspect, it was that concept that most appealed to me. Invoking an aspect of death into daily life often seems ill advised, and so the transition was made easier focusing on the rebirth aspect of it all.

The Crone aspect of Badb though, cannot be missed. Badb  is pictured as a fair lady, though white and red mouthed. In later tales, Badb was a phantom all together. Without digging too far into it, I suspect that Badb is fair, because the Maiden aspect of the Goddess is fair. What I did find though, is that Badb, being connected with death, took on many of death's appearances. Her pale white skin, is often because white was later connected to death. Where many of us in the United States are accustomed to black being the color of death, white is still that color for many other cultures across the world.

For me, it would seem obvious had such an aspect entered my life early. It wasn't until further study however. that I discovered Badb had been there all along too. When I was young, I had an affinity for wolves. That spiritual connection to wolves later opened many of the doors for me now, but at the time I didn't think anything of it. Badb is strongly connected to wolves, and so now I welcome that aspect of her into my life more openly. It wasn't until middle school though, that I was introduced to Badb's true nature, the Crone. The Banshee is perhaps one of the strongest aspects of Badb's nature, and one that I feared into my teenage years.

As I grew to know what it meant to be Pagan, and specifically Wiccan, the Crone aspect no longer frightened me. I don't remember when I fully embraced death as a part of life, but it was shortly before my choice to become Pagan in general. In fact, one of the last aspects of Badb was important to me starting out my practice. I was apprehensive to come out as a Pagan, and so my altar and tools consisted of a couple candles, and a deck of tarot cards. For the first few years, acts of divination were the only ways I felt close to the One. As I matured as a Pagan, tarot cards found a place on my altar. I wouldn't trade my first deck of tarot cards for all the other tools in the world.

Looking back, the presence of Badb has always been there. There are even some aspects of Badb that I wouldn't trade for the world. Whether one chooses to look at her as the Maiden, or the Crone, I think there is a part of her that everyone meets. I think there is something special about considering Badb as the Midwife of the Soul. Badb is said to be keeper of a cauldron, much like any other aspect of the Morrigan. For Badb, it is the cauldron of the Otherworld. She offers us rest for a time, and then sets us on our path once more. It is her life giving force that makes her perhaps, one of the brighter aspects of the Morrigan.

B is for Bercilak

   

"As well as the Green Chapel where he exists as the Green Knight, Bercilak the man lives in the castle of Hautdesert, hidden away in a tree lined hollow"

- The Camelot Oracle-

Interesting characters are found throughout the Arthurian Tradition, and Bercilak is no exception. Bercilak's character can be found in the tales of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. These tales can be a bit confusing, as there are by now many different versions. As confusing as this is, the general tale remains the same. For the sake of accuracy, I'm going to do my best to focus on what is the agreed upon view. With that said, I do believe the very nature of Bercilak's character is to invoke a sense of mystery. Hopefully, some of that mystery can be revealed by what I've learned so far.

Bercilak's character is first seen by King Arthur's court on Christmas, said to be holding holly in one hand and a battle axe in the other. He is the Green Knight, transformed by Morgaine le Fey, in order to challenge the court. To further the mystery, Bercilak engages in a battle agreement with King Arthur and his court. The agreement is a blow for blow exchange, and Gawain is the only member of the court to accept. With a single blow, Gawain decapitates the strange guest. Because of Morgaine's enchantment however, Bercilak simply picks up his head. Gawain is then asked to meet Bercilak the next year for the return blow. 

Sure enough, Gawain travels to the Green Chapel, and finds Bercilak's wife awaiting him. Though the Lady Bercilak appears always with an old woman, Gawain finds her company pleasant. It is then that the Lady Bercilak tempts Gawain, and earns three kisses in exchange for a green sash. This sash protects Gawain from the blows of the Green Knight. The first two blows are merely a stunt to test his courage, and the third blow leaves only a minor wound. After the third blow, Bercilak reveals himself. Gawain is informed by him of the true tests of his loyalty and bravery carried out by Morgaine le Fey, who had transformed herself into the old woman. The tale ends with Gawain's return back to court, and the men wearing green sashes in his honor.

These tales may seem to have nothing to do with modern craft today. With a little study though, we see not just one theme but many. I should mention that some people find Christian themes in these stories as well, however I'm not going to focus solely on those. The first theme is that of Morgaine le Fey. In these tales, she represents the Goddess. It is she who challenges the Knights at Camelot. While not always the case, in many tales she is also ever present during the tests that Gawain must go through. This may be symbolic of how the Goddess is ever present in our own lives. It is through the Goddess that all at Camelot come to know a bit of the ancient mysteries. 

The ancient mysteries could never be known without Bercilak's character. He is outright a symbol of the God. His green color also suggests a high symbolism to nature. There is always that hint of fear with his presence, and yet there is also an opportunity for courage. For Gawain, it is this opportunity alone that reveals the Goddess to him. In that, there is also the symbolism that one cannot know the Goddess without first knowing the God. In either case, all is revealed in its own way. Bercilak's wife is also an interesting character, as her behavior is opposite for its time. She in a way, represents the sexual side of the Goddess. Her character remembers that at one time sexual behavior was not thought of sinfully, but freely. 

The thing that I find to be the greatest thing about the character of Bercilak is his versatility. Tales are repeated many times, but never has one reached Pagans and Christians in such a unique way. The elements stand alone, and go noticed by both groups of people. This is what, I think, made Bercilak last through the ages. His character is still speaking to us, and revealing the mysteries of the God/dess. For my own path, his character speaks of what the culture of the Celts became. The unity of both Pagan and Christian views was central to the legends of King Arthur, and so too became the history of the people of Briton. A history that simply cannot be told without revealing the secrets of the God/dess.

A is for Anu

"All things grow and change in their own time. Be as the tree, deeply rooted in the earth, yet ever reaching toward the heavens. In winter the tree may lose its leaves and sleep for a time, but the tree knows spring will always come again and bring new beginnings and growth."

-Celtic Lore & Spellcraft of the Dark Goddess-

While not directly linked to the Arthurian Tradition, the Goddess Anu is present. One might have to search for the deep symbolism, and yet its still there. The Morrigan is ever present in the character of Morgaine le Fey. Some believe that Morgaine's strong connection to magic within the tales makes this connection. Whatever the case may be, The Morrigan is deeply rooted in the Celtic belief and folklore. The Morrigan consists of a triad of goddesses, and is always referred to as The Morrigan, when a whole. As a symbol of the Triple Goddess, there are the goddesses Anu, Badb, and Macha. The Goddess Anu remains one of the most well known and sacred goddesses of the Celtic Tradition and the triad. .

Anu is the Virgin Goddess within the triad, and as such is associated with the earth itself. Ireland was at times referred to as the Land of Anu, The Paps of Anu reflect this, as they remain some of the only proof left of the goddess's importance. While her name means plenty or wealth, there is a lack of traditions left to reveal the goddess's secrets. What we do know is that Anu was a goddess of fertility, and linked to the crops and cattle of the land. In some regions, Anu was known as one of the daughters of Ernmas, a she farmer. It's interesting to note that Anu is said to be one of three daughters, perhaps furthering that she is a Triple Goddess aspect. Though there are three goddesses, their names remain the same.

The earth itself is a link to Anu, no matter where one is. She is pictured with soil colored eyes, and clothes as green as the plants. Often she is pictured under an age old tree, a symbol of herself. A parallel can be made to the  character of Morgaine le Fey here as well. Anu is said to find apples as sacred to her, and so the tree depicted with her is often that of an apple tree. Morgaine's character is linked to Avalon, which is known too as the Isle of Apples. Both are said to be the keeper of a cauldron, a cauldron that reveals to those who drink from it the very future. It's said that if you meditate and seek the Goddess Anu, you will find her there among the apple trees, stirring her great cauldron that perhaps sustains all life.

For myself, the Goddess Anu came into my life only recently. While reading about Druidry, some books suggested taking a teacher. This teacher was to be a goddess and a god, and each were to stem from Celtic origins. At first this seemed easy to me, as The Morrigan first came to mind. It was The Morrigan that started this shift for me, and also was the inspiration for the name I go by in Pagan circles. Not wanting to jump to conclusions, I read more about the Celtic god/desses. To my surprise, I started to feel a strong connection to the Goddess Danu. This caused a great problem for me, as I felt loyal to both The Morrigan and Danu. Seeking more advice, I sat down and meditated.

As I meditated, I began to picture a great river. I walked to it, and sat on the water's very surface. It was then I began to feel attached to the water, felt myself anchored by roots that went deep into the earth. There was a peace there, and I looked across into the woods beyond. There was Anu, stirring the great cauldron, only I didn't know her as Anu. It wasn't until I drank from the cauldron that Anu's name came into my mind. That had been the last of the meditation, a meditation that seemed like days. After that, I quickly took to reading more of the books I had purchased on Celtic beliefs in general.

In one of them, I found Anu's name, which linked her not only to the Morrigan, but to Danu as well. While Danu is a river goddess, Anu is linked to the earth. It became clear for me that was the element I work with most, and so the aspect made sense. I've learned that while we may want certain teachers along our path, the ones that come to us reveal themselves for a reason. Worshiping one aspect of The Morrigan doesn't take away from the wonder of the whole. Sitting, on the cold earth that will be warm come summer, also reminds me that Danu is there too, in the heart of Anu. For the roots that reach deep, drink from the sacred spring that nurtures all life, the water of Danu.

A is for Arthurian

"Listen, strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government."

     -Monty Python and the Holy Grail- 

One might begin to wonder what Monty Python has to do with a blog like this, and you're right to wonder. For me though, that quote was my first introduction to King Arthur. It wouldn't be until many years later that such a line even made sense to me. I didn't know who the Lady of the Lake was, or why Excalibur was so important, or even what government they were truly talking about. All I knew was that I loved history, literature, and movies. Now I look back and can laugh at the ignorance of my childhood. As strange as it may sound, I've become familiar with the Arthurian Legends and incorporated them into my own Pagan traditions. 

The Arthurian Tradition, within Paganism, uses the myths and legends of King Arthur to relate to the divine. That's the least complicated definition I could think of, hopefully it works. My introduction to this tradition started with a set of oracle cards I purchased. In the Camelot Oracle, the author, John Matthews, explains how each of the characters relates to an aspect of life. The book also suggests ways of meditating with each character from the myth, and so this was my first real way of incorporating the Arthurian Tradition into my own practice. I was surprised to find that to me, it didn't seem strange to work with "fictional" characters. 

I felt spiritually at ease with these characters, especially those of The Lady of the Lake, Morgana, Lancelot, and Arthur. Such an ease prompted me to do more research into this tradition, and I sadly found little. I did find out many interesting historical facts though, which surprised me quite a bit. It brought up an interesting point too, the line between legend and truth are so blurred it might make little difference. I learned that I even prefer to think in terms of the mystical. A place like Avalon could exist, and it could indeed be the resting place of not only King Arthur, but many other legendary heroes, rulers, and god/desses as well. 

In Celtic lore, it is said that sometimes a god sleeps. He waits to be awakened, and one day bring knowledge, power, and relief to his followers. This god is often called The Sleeping God, and I have yet to find such an attribute placed on a goddess. Occasionally, this aspect stems to heroes so great, they become as powerful as the gods, in the eyes of the people. King Arthur is one of those people, he is said to sleep in Avalon. With his sleep is the promise that one day he will return, and unite us all. Such a legend seems unlikely, but it brings for me, a special magikal element to this tradition. 

To add perhaps a new spin to the Arthurian Legends, is the subject of Fionn MacCumhal. When it comes to Irish lore Fionn MacCumhal is parallel to that of King Arthur. In fact, some believe it is Arthur that was used to incorporate Celtic gods to a broad Christian audience. It is Fionn that is credited with destroying all the snakes in Ireland, well before Saint Patrick. Besides the parallels to Arthur's direct adventures, Fionn is the bringer of knowledge and wisdom to the people he rules over. Personally, I'm quite fond of the stories of Fionn MacCumhal. They resonate with me, and they are but a step of this growing process.

For fear of rambling too much, I will conclude by saying that the Arthurian Tradition is vast. While there may be a lack of agreed upon facts, the legends live on. The characters call out to us, sharing with us their own ancient knowledge. Whether this knowledge is to be taken at face value, or is purely symbolic, remains for the listener to decide. What I have come to know is the purity of this ancient knowledge. I have learned that all stories are connected, even spanning into the religious walks of others. It is in that moment that we may all come to share in the magik circle, perhaps even in the shadows of Avalon. 

Solitary Eclectic Wiccan

My path has many labels, and can be a bit complicated to explain briefly to others. This is mainly because I don't get asked many questions about it. I'm just going to try my best to explain what I can, and I might add to it later. In short, I'm a Solitary Eclectic Wiccan. That being said, I prefer to label myself as Pagan. Over the years that has been the label I feel most proud of, yet even I am not sure why. This path is the one that feels right for me, and I embrace that it might not be right for others.

Before becoming a Pagan, I was raised in a conservative Baptist church. As a kid, I loved going to church, reading my bible, and even the daily bible studies. My parents had each been raised Christian, though were of different denominations. Perhaps that's why they raised me to be Baptist, as the church was just down the road and new to both of them. Whatever the case, I was deeply devoted to my faith. My first job was working at a Christian based summer camp, and I have fond memories of those weeks. As I matured though, my religious beliefs began to shape, and I found my current path.

At thirteen, I began to embrace Wicca as a religious path. When my views of Christianity changed, I had started searching for a path, any path, that fit. Wicca's belief about God/ddess appealed to me,as well as those about nature, and so I kept doing more research into it. I discovered that many traditions believed a year of study was necessary, and so I spent that year really trying to learn all I could. There was always an uncertainty, because I was Solitary, that I was somehow doing it wrong. That first year was really eye opening, and I started to really listen to my own self for the first time in my life.

After that first year, I felt it necessary to do a year of observance. This meant that I would observe The Wheel of the Year, and keep my altar for each of the sabbats. Most importantly, it meant that I would not engage in any other magik based ritual. It was important to me that first year to listen to the God/dess, and grow before taking to spellcraft. To this day, I'm thankful for the lessons I learn by those two years. Those first years gave me much of the information, experience, and courage to continue my path now. After those two years, I performed my initiation ritual and felt comfortable calling myself Wiccan.

For me, that was the start of my path, and it's been eight years. There are times where I faltered, and wondered if it was the right path. It felt lonely at first, as I live in a small community where Pagans of any kind are rare. Slowly though, I've grown to realize that faltering is all part of the natural process. Soon I was learning where to find a sense of community. It wasn't all easy, there were always people who didn't understand, and some were in my own family. I was labelled a wytch, but chose to grow into the title. Now, the title of wytch is one of my most fond.

Lately, I've been going through another change on my path. For most of my path, I have followed a Greek/Roman pantheon. I've borrowed traditions from many paths, but always have I held true to that pantheon. Now however, I've chosen to embrace a Celtic pantheon. There are plenty of things to embrace within that change alone, but I'm also trying to become a Green Wytch as well. These two changes are going to be the subject of this blog, but I thought I'd just give a little introduction to where my path stands now. Either way, I look forward to learning, embracing, and practicing new ideas.

A New Year

For many, 2014 marks the beginning of many new chapters. One looks back at the year 2013, perhaps wondering where the time has suddenly gone. There are no doubt lasting memories, and with them the promise of the future. A future promises hope, a fresh start, and yet not all things end with the passing of the year. We still bring with us the thoughts we've gathered, the paths we've walked, and the friends we've gained. A part of this has led me to start this blog now, and hopefully to continue you it into the next new year. I've started a few blogs, but this is to be the one I dedicate my efforts in 2014 to.

I started this new year with a desire to learn all I could on the Celts. This has started with their mythology, and hopefully will advance far beyond. To start though, I have always found mythology a good a place as any. Being of the family heritage I am, I have always had a fascination with mythology, legends, or anything of the sort. I never suspected that the mythology I read as a child, would come to impact my religious choice as an adult. The Celts have many different gods and goddess, and at first I hesitated. It was overwhelming, but I soon decided to jump in somewhere.

This blog's name comes from the knowledge that I've gathered so far. I thought to name this blog after The Morrigan, but that is not completely the case. Out of all the stories, it is one of Danu that I read first. The Goddess Danu, is said to be a giver of all knowledge. As the mother of Brigid, Danu is someone I instantly could feel ties to. It helped me to know how a few things tied into the path I already had, and Brigid's name was one of them. There was a welcome feeling, perhaps that of a mother. Learning a very brief history of the impact Danu had within Celtic culture, I feel at ease to use some of it now.

At The Water's Edge is a blog to capture my path as a Pagan in 2014. For it is said that all knowledge came from the water's edge. The water was a symbol of Danu, and her nourishment to her children. As I start the new year, on a path somewhat new to my feet, it is this nourishment I need. It is my hope though, that someday we all might find a place at the water's edge. That one day, we may all take a glance in the ancient mirror, and see for ourselves the mysteries of the universe. I know not where this path leads, only that it feels right, right at the water's loving edge.